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"But I want more. I want a husband and a family. No matter how much we love each other - no matter how much you love me - you're never going to be able to give me that."I knew she was right, and pondered what to say in response to her statement. I had always known that this day was going to come. Indeed, I had already resolved that when the time came I wouldn't stand in the way of her happiness. She was the absolute best lover I had ever known. But she was also the one woman in the world I loved more than any other. Her needs came first.I had to say what I felt to her. "I just want you to be satisfied. I mean that. The sex with you has been great; the best I've ever had. But I can always get another lover - not as good as you, but adequate. I can't get another sister. I want to see you happy, Amanda. I need that for my own happiness." Thank you, Ken" she said, hugging me - her sigh of approval. "I knew you would understand. I just wasn't sure how to talk to you about it." So you. He was used to her. He wanted to remain in familiar territory.This story illustrates our relationship to our own egos. The ego is our pain, but it is what we know, and we resist moving out of it. The effort it takes to grow out of painful patterns often feels more uncomfortable than remaining within them. Personal growth can be painful, because it can make us feel ashamed and humiliated to face our own darkness. But the goal of personal growth is the journey out of dark emotional patterns that cause us pain, to those that create peace. Psychotherapy: Purpose and Practice says that at their peak, religion and psychotherapy become one. They both represent the relationship between thought and experience, and are used by the Holy Spirit to celebrate one of the most glorious human potentials: our capacity to change.There is a tendency these days to analyze our neuroses ad infinitum, yet use the analysis itself to justify rather than heal the wound. After a certain point, having seen why a.
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